Posts tagged Body Respect
How Fat Acceptance Could Encourage Health for All Bodies

“The media tells me that I’m fat because a weird sandwich exists somewhere with Krispy Kreme donuts instead of buns. But I’m sure that’s not it. I would definitely remember eating that sandwich.” -Lindy West, Shrill

intuitive eating, fat acceptance, body positive, health at every size. How fat acceptance could advance health for all bodies.

 

Fat. Obesity. Everybody’s got an opinion, including yours truly (I know you’re surprised.)

YOU LOOK SO HEALTHY

Whether it’s spoken directly or insinuated, health has a singular look -- interchangeable, I'd argue, with the Western beauty ideal. It’s thin, white, straight, cis, and, yes, probably wealthy. It's usually blonde, lean, and shredded. Health wears $100 tights, drinks coconut water on the reg, and likes green smoothies.  

Health looks like glowing skin and regular detoxes, cleanses, and charcoal lemonade. Like marathons, the weight room, and lunches that may cost more or less the same as some people's weekly groceries. 

It is soy-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free. 

I’m not saying these things are wrong (though some are questionable); many of them are nice-to-haves, including expensive pilates classes and refreshing cold-pressed juice. And I'd be remiss if I didn't include myself in there, too, since I partake in many of these things denied to so many others. 

But what’s the subtext to all of this healthism? 

What if you can’t afford pricy leggings? What if the people in charge of manufacturing those leggings think fat people shouldn’t wear their clothing? What if you’re not white, straight, thin, or cis? What if the health ideal, like the beauty ideal, is totally and relentlessly oppressive? (PSA: it is. AF.)

What if you’ve been battling eczema all of your life for reasons your naturopath, doctor, nutritionist, and Well + Good have yet to unearth? What if you think coconut water tastes like sweaty armpit? What if your regular person life doesn’t include enough time or energy or thought for daily 2-hour workouts and mani-pedis or kale massages? 

And why does health have to “look good”? What does “looks so healthy” even mean? 

THE PERSONAL IS POLITICAL AND THE POLITICAL IS PERSONAL

Lately, I’ve fielded a number of questions about intuitive eating and the non-diet approach by practitioners, fitness professionals, and myriad other people who are equal parts excited and terrified by my (radical yet sensible?) recommendations. And because of its ties to Health at Every Size® and #allfoodsfit, I’m equal parts nutritionist as I am social justice advocate and fat acceptance activist. I can’t (and wouldn’t) uncouple myself from these issues. Promoting health for fat people, for marginalized people, for poor people, for mentally ill people, is political. 

And in the same way that fat people need to “come out” as fat (as in, announce they are opting out of diet culture) and keep coming out — because “society” believes every person can be thin, should be thin, and ought to "keep trying" until they are thin, as though this is the only acceptable goal a fat person can have — I’d also argue fat acceptance advocates need to come out. And keep coming out. Because when we “tolerate” fat phobia -- by offering "healthy weight loss", by endorsing flat stomachs, by talking about how we ourselves need to lose weight, by marketing diets -- we are complicit in its acceptance. 

And if you ask me -- and even though you haven't -- it’s not okay, full stop. 

Frankly, I find it intolerable to dehumanize and shame a population of people, especially when the “obesity epidemic” we like to talk about “healing” or “overcoming” or “dealing with” is really code for a host of biosocial issues. And socio-economic problems. And challenges that extend so far beyond pizza and beer. 

I want to admit I was slow on the uptake. If you're new to HAES or IE or any of this -- if you've never heard of any of it -- it's okay. We all start somewhere. I've never thought fat shaming was okay, but what about health? But when you read through the studies -- really read them -- it's impossible (IMO) to see things any other way.

WEIGHT GAIN AND WOMEN

Nope, I don’t want to talk about “getting the weight off” of cis girls going through puberty and no, I do not believe a diet in the answer. I want to talk about how weight gain at that age is very normal. How it supports safe ovulation and growth and development. I want teenagers to feel safe. I want them to enjoy being teenagers. 

No, postpartum women just trying to raise a mini human or humans don’t need micro-aggressive rhetoric about “getting their bodies back” (way to objectify and sexualize). If you want to help, we could start with dismantling “breast is best”, advocating for quality mental healthcare, and showing up in all of the ways we can, armed with empathy and support and unconditional love and maybe some laundry detergent and a tray's worth of coffee. 

And no, I don't think menopausal women trying to cope with a complex constellation of symptoms and diminishing estrogen production need help “dropping the spare tire” that they may have developed to, in fact, deal with above said problems (Margo Maine talks about this in The Body Myth). Maybe they just need to know it's OK. 

But I also understand — not as well as others, but well enough to write this — that real change is slow and hard-earned. That advocating for a cause comparatively few believe in or understand will take everything you have and then some, and then some more, so be sure to budget your sleep accordingly. 

Because, I would argue, we care more about preserving thinness than promoting health. 

Because probiotic companies today are promoting themselves to consumers not by speaking about the immune-boosting effects of a healthy microbiome, but about how our guts are making us fat -- so be warned

Because we automatically assume a thin person is fitter than a fat person.

Because it’s easier to poke fun of fat people and work toward #bodygoals (degrading as hell, by the way) than it is to dig deep into our own insecurities and up level our self-worth. 

Because it’s easier to drink low-calorie shakes than it is to cultivate body autonomy and self-acceptance, or perhaps to discuss the ways our current lifestyle is not serving us. 

THIN PRIVILEGE IS A THING

I’m thin. I’ve never been subjected to the systemic and institutionalized vitriol hurled at fat people. I’ve always fit easily into airplane seats. I can shop for clothes at any popular retailer. I fit in places most grown people don’t. 

No one tells me I  "shouldn’t be eating that.”  

No one has ever warned me that I will not find love because of how my body looks. 

Nobody questions where I “get my confidence” or has refused to kiss me in public. I don’t need to wonder whether weight stigma will prevent me from scoring a dream job or earning more money.

But the truth is, I am thin because I came into this world as a small human with access to quality healthcare, education, and enough money to keep things comfortable. 

It’s not because I restrict (been there, got the t-shirt, burned it.) 

It’s not because I spend hours working out, “detox” or “cleanse”, or possess superpower nutrition tricks. 

It's important to highlight these differences because they demonstrate just how much easier my life is -- how much more easily my body is accepted -- because of my privilege and genetics. And just how terrible we, as a culture, are toward fat people, many of whom are, in fact, "doing everything right." 

“The media” would like us to believe “obesity” exists because we like cheeseburgers too much and kale salads too little, because we prefer to play video games and binge watch Netflix than run marathons or rollerblade. 

This short-sighted hypothesis fits nicely into a little box and sells a lot of books, but is actually a tiny sliver of the iceberg salad. As Lindy West so eloquently states, “it’s easier to mock and deride individual fat people than to fix food deserts, school lunches, corn subsidies, inadequate or non-existent public transportation, unsafe sidewalks and parks, healthcare, mental healthcare, the minimum wage, and your own insecurities" (Shrill). 

I’m convinced, based on my experience working with people and reading books and studies, that sometimes people are fat because they are fat, the way some people are gay or black or Asian or third gender. Sometimes fat people are fat, for reasons that have nothing to do with a thyroid condition or medication or toxins or liking nachos. 

Sometimes people are fat for reasons that have nothing to do with dairy, grains, gluten, sugar, or trans fats. That have nothing to do with food.

Sometimes people are fat for reasons our privilege so often blinds us to. 

HOW FAT ACCEPTANCE COULD ADVANCE HEALTH

For those looking for extensive studies: one day, there will be more. Let's throw these ideas around first and see how they stick. 

And as a fat acceptance advocate, I also believe fat acceptance would do more to advance health — for every body — than weight loss prescriptions ever have. Than "health", as it's depicted, is doing. 

Here’s why:

Because fat acceptance promotes health for all bodies, full stop. Instead of promoting weight loss through whatever means necessary, including extremely restrictive diets and dangerous surgeries, we’d create space for conversations around health habits and behaviours. Self-care is challenging to foster in an environment of self-control. 

I'm not saying this is easy work. I'm not suggesting it will happen overnight. I don't believe by going all yay fat bodies! everyone will, by default, be well, that we'll resolve all issues. Of course not. But it would allow for a more dynamic view of wellness. We could focus on measurements offered by blood work and talk about ways to improve these markers.

And while not everyone will choose to be healthy (it's not a value everyone shares, regardless of how any of us feels about that), it will create space for kindness. For gentle nutrition. For authentic health. 

We, as professionals, would have the opportunity to teach about how fermented foods are amazing without “and weight loss”, as though to be healthy we must always be thin (or maintain or work toward becoming thinner.) As though meeting a weight requirement is a health imperative. There's a ton of things you can do to improve your health that don't involve losing weight. 

Rumour has it fat bodies also experience sub-par medical care. I don’t have stats to show (if you do, please leave ‘em in the comments), but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a fat person recant how they went in for a serious health issue and were basically dismissed with the default "you're overweight" explanation. Health problems are health problems are health problems, and there's usually a whole lot more to them than "lose weight". 

PSA: for those “but health!”-ers out there, I’d like to reassure you that correlations between health and weight are exactly that — correlations. All research is filtered through a fat phobic, “obesity crisis” lens, as many studies are funded based on what they’re going to achieve for “obesity.” Um, that’s not what I would consider objective science, but whatevs.  

Maybe if we accepted that people are sometimes fat, we could also advance mental healthcare. Too much to ask? I don’t know why we think we can shame people into “healthier habits”, but regardless of whether or not we believe it, we do. And this shaming and the perpetuation of fat phobia can (and does) lead to eating disorders of all kinds, which are not exclusive to the thin and privileged, but in fact manifest in people of all walks of life (including fat people.) We can’t ignore the reality that treating the body as currency and status hurts all of us. 

I’ve met a number of individuals recovering from Anorexia Nervosa who felt bingeing and purging were definitely problematic behaviours, but their restriction was not. Why? Because we glamourize eating disorders in North America. We ask people recovering from EDs what they’ve been doing to “look so great.” 

How can someone recover from restriction if they believe their behaviour is “healthy”, if it leads to congratulations and compliments? If their mothers and friends and co-workers and strangers on the street are dieting, non-diet dieting, or talking about “slimming down”? 

And I imagine fat acceptance would promote a healthier and more positive body image for all, as we could stop comparing our bodies against an unobtainable ideal and begin to take the steps necessary to heal our relationship with ourselves and our own unique bodies.

Fat acceptance has the potential to encourage a healthier relationship with exercise, too. While regular movement can be a wonderful and beautiful thing (fit people, statistically, experience better health outcomes), exercise as a compensatory behaviour is very real and very destructive. 

If we didn’t feel pressure to select exercise based on its calorie burning properties, it might free us to find movement we actually enjoy. Maybe we’d practice more yoga, or learn salsa dancing. Maybe we’d take bike rides with our kids or play beach volleyball.

Fat acceptance makes space for diverse narratives. When we repeat oft-said falsehoods such as “it’s all calories in, calories out” or reduce health to diet and exercise, we effectively obliterate the myriad socioeconomic, biosocial, and other factors that impact health outcomes and inform our relationship with food, body, and exercise/movement. 

Not only that, but we insist we must all conform to the Western beauty standard without regard for all the ways we, genetically, can’t. That some of us are born into larger bodies, that some of us have varying curves because of our lineage, that some of us have no curves. All bodies, as is oft said, are good bodies. 

When we say “it’s so easy” to be healthy, what we’re really saying is that it’s easy for wealthy, cis, straight, white people with access to everything these privileges afford. It is not easy. 

In speaking about fat shaming, I can’t very well skip thin shaming — a problem in and of itself. How are we promoting wellness in thin-bodied people if we repeatedly tell them they can “eat whatever they want” because they’re thin or question why they’re working out when “they don’t need to”? Or push them to gain weight when their bodies are naturally intended to be smaller? A focus on body endangers the health and well-being of us all. 

Fat acceptance encourages self-care over self-control. 

Fat acceptance could encourage more positive and dynamic representations of all bodies in the world. 

Fat acceptance would free up time to focus on things other than diet, exercise, and weight. Intuitive eaters are usually astonished by how much more mental energy they have when they stop worrying about weight (it’s freeing.) 

Fat acceptance would promote the full expression of 4th wave feminism. Dieting, as Naomi Wolf said in The Beauty Myth, is the most potent political sedative there is. Dieting is anti-feminist. Weight loss culture is anti-feminist. They’re anti-feminist because they are not pro-health — they’re pro-oppression, pro-objectification, pro-you owe it to the world to be sexy. I can’t and don’t accept that. 

Fat acceptance might allow us to talk about health, real health, vs. weaponizing foods. There are no “good” or “bad” foods. There are foods we eat to feed our bodies and minds, and foods we eat to please our senses, our spirits, our experiences. There is room for both. Why can’t a kale salad co-exist with a bowl of potato chips? Why must we choose between “being healthy” vs. "having a life"? Must we always make the “best” choice to be healthy? 

And right now, in our culture of fat phobia, we continually prioritize “physical health” over mental health, over psychological health, over emotional health. Perhaps fat acceptance could create space for more dynamic healthcare, too. 

Fat acceptance could — and this is personal — put a stop to shameful television shows and networks that profit from of fat phobia. You might argue that people sign up to be on those shows (free choice!), but I would argue the contenders are victims of fat phobia and weight stigma. Maybe they view a show as their best option, or as giving it “a shot.” But if you ask me, using fatness as “inspiration porn” (thanks Lindy West) is not an okay practice, however socially accepted it has become. 

Now, back at you: what do you think? 

 

What Body Positive Practitioners Do For Self-Care

Self-care is a challenging topic — and one none of us can seem to clearly define. What is self-care? Is it a manicure and pedicure? Is it a day at the spa? Wine night with a bunch of awesome people? Sleeping in on a Saturday? Is it fancy, time-consuming, and expensive — a luxury — or something far simpler than that? And what is its purpose?

I think a lot about self-care. As someone who finds habit formation triumphantly difficult (I’m a rebel, according to Gretchen Rubin), mastering the little things takes enormous effort. And you know what? That’s okay. So when I think about self-care, I think a lot less about addition and much more about subtraction. I think a lot less about rules — self-care being another thing on the to do-list, or something else to punish myself with — and more about permission

Permission to take a day off. Permission to sleep in. Permission to eat the things I love. Permission to choose a relaxing walk around my neighbourhood over a vigorous workout. Permission to be imperfect. Permission to stand up for myself. Permission to get loud. Permission to buy an exorbitantly priced green juice when I feel my body needs the nutrition; permission to eat ice cream because it tastes so good. This is all self-care to me, because it all begins with "What do I need to feel good today?" and finding a way to get it. 

Intuitive Eating, body positivity, fat positivity, eating disorder recovery, health at every size. What 5 body positive practitioners do for self-care.

I asked other body positive, anti-diet practitioners to share in this topic and offer their view of what self-care is and what they do to show themselves love. 

SOPHIA APOSTOL

SOPHIA APOSTOL is a Toronto-based Confidence Coach who helps curvy ladies to feel confident from the boardroom to the bedroom. She brings 15 years of experience in the academic and corporate sectors to her client relationships. She builds resilience, courage, and authentic confidence by focusing on awareness, learning, growth, and emotional intelligence. Women who live aligned with their values, strengths, and creativity are able to pinpoint what is holding them back and can clearly see how to move forward. Sophia has worked with entrepreneurs, managers & executives, and academics who want fulfillment in both their career and personal lives.

"Here’s my biggest lifehack for self-care....have a list of your Top 10 Go-To’s written on a post-it on your fridge and saved in your phone’s notes app. 

When we’re in need of self care, our brain isn’t working optimally, hence the desire for self care, and can only focus on short-term alleviation of suffering (my default behaviour is numbing & binging with chips and Netflix). 

So, the way around this is to have a no-brain-needed list where I can easily see it. When I feel like I need/want self care, I look at my list and pick from these options: 

    1.    Get outside!!! Get dog leash, get dog, get down to the lake. 

    2.    Make a cup of English Breakfast tea. Sit on balcony. Breathe. 

    3.    Call one of my besties. Receive their love and support. 

    4.    Text one of my besties. Share that I’m feeling sad/angry/tired/etc. Receive their gratuitous heart emojis. 

    5.    Set an intention every morning. Text it to my 2 friends who also share theirs each
morning (accountability partners are everything!). 

    6.    Use one of my meditation apps for guided mindfulness to lower stress & anxiety in 10
minutes. 

    7.    Crank up girl-power pop music and practice my hip shimmies and sexy belly dance arm
movements...the more jiggle the better! 

    8.    Listen to a podcast that makes me laugh, cry, and learn. Current faves: Dear Sugar, The Moth, On Being.

    9.    Go to Body Blitz. ASAP! (This is a women’s only water circuit spa in Toronto, and it’s heavenly) 

    10.    Watch Netflix. Not binge watching for 5 hours, but to relax and enjoy a couple of
episodes."

Find Sophia: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram

TARA MILLER

 

TARA MILLER is a Toronto-based holistic nutritionist and intuitive eating coach, and owner of the Health Hut, a natural beauty and healthy lifestyle shop with locations in Toronto and Muskoka. She helps clients with a number of issues using a non-diet, "all foods fit" approach to nutrition and wellness. 

"For self-care, it seems simple but I absolutely love spending time alone in the evening and going to bed early.  I also enjoy being social, so make it a point not to schedule more than two nights out during the week in order to stay balanced and recharge.  I used to find it hard to say no to things, but when I realized how important feeling good is to my productivity, relationships and well-being, it has gotten much easier.  Nothing beats getting cozy - even it means I have to schedule it in!"

Find Tara: Facebook, Instagram

CHRISTINA FRANGIONE

 

CHRISTINA FRANGIONE is a Registered Dietitian, Certified Dietitian Nutritionist, who is currently pursuing her Master's degree in nutrition. She is the voice behind When Not All Foods Fit, a blog dedicated to helping people who struggle with disordered eating or negative relationships with food/their bodies AND who also need specialized diets for allergies, intolerances, chronic illnesses, co-occuring disorders, or religious or ethical beliefs.

"Self-care can be relaxing, enjoyable, and rejuvenating. It can also be challenging, painful, and anxiety provoking. Some days, my self-care might be watching a sitcom, painting my nails, or going to a yoga class. Other days, my self-care might be making an uncomfortable phone call, trying to identify why I reacted a certain way, or telling myself “it’s okay” over and over until I believe it. Self-care is so necessary both when you’re clearly in need of some extra support, and when you have a handle on your mental health. "

Find Christina: Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest

EMILY FONNESBECK

EMILY FONNESBECK is a Registered Dietitian and Certified LEAP Therapist who takes an individualized, non-diet approach to client work and avoids fear-based information. She gives guidance to those seeking help with eating disorders or disordered eating, digestive concerns, food sensitivities, diabetes care, heart disease, pregnancy/infertility nutrition, sports nutrition and athletic performance, vegetarian diets, general nutrition information and more.  

"As a working mom of 3, I've found that self-care doesn't just happen.  That's particularly true now that we have a new toddler living with us who is still adjusting to a new language, new country and a new family.  The best way I take care of myself, hands down, is asking for help and not holding myself to the impossible standard of doing everything on my own.  As a recovering perfectionist that's not super easy for me.  But I really benefit from delegating responsibilities to my kids (which is good for them too), accepting my husband's support in household tasks and childcare, triaging to-do lists and even letting go of stuff that isn't necessary (like a clean house some weeks).  We all have to be team players to make it work.  The best part is that I then can find time each week to do things that mean the most to me like playing with my kids, spending time with my husband and writing.  Lastly, I find it so helpful to schedule time for things that I know build physical and mental resiliency for me like exercise, meal planning, scripture reading and sleep. " 

Find Emily: Instagram, Facebook 

JENNA FREE

JENNA FREE is an Intuitive Eating Counsellor and Body Image Coach at You Ain't Your Weight. After years of modelling and obsessing over food and weight, she discovered intuitive eating and self-love -- two tools that "turned her world upside down." She helps women ditch the diet, stop obsessing over food and learn to love their bodies once and for all.

"Practicing self care means more than bubble baths and massages (although those things are amazing). For me a huge part of my self care now is listening to my body, which I rarely did when I was dieting. Honouring my hunger is a huge piece of this. I don't deny myself food anymore, I have learned to always trust my body. Our bodies are so much smarter than us!”

Find Jenna: Instagram, Facebook

How you define self-care? What challenges do you face in practicing some form of self-care? What would you need in order to show yourself love? 

10 Reasons You Still Hate Your Body (And What To Do About It)

I’m not anti-weight loss, but like most intuitive eating coaches, I’m anti-pursuit of weight loss. 

But what happens when you know this on an intellectual level and you’ve succeeded in ditching the diet, but you still haven’t made peace with your body? 

In my experience as an intuitive eating coach, the body image piece is the last to click. It isn’t a linear or quick process; it often takes a lot of self-compassion, patience, and perseverance. But the time is going to pass regardless of whether you like your body or not. I figure you can spend the rest of your life trying to change it while loathing it, or you can do the necessary work to make peace with it and move on to other things that will ultimately prove more fulfilling. 

Here’s 5 reasons you still haven’t made peace with your body and how to troubleshoot each piece of the puzzle. 

Intuitive eating, emotional eating, body positive, health at every size, all foods fit, non-diet, anti-diet. 5 reasons you still hate your body and what to do about it.

 

1 | You’re comparing your body to a younger (and possibly still developing) version of itself. 

While it makes sense that 37-year-old bodies won’t necessarily look like their 17-year-old versions, it’s sometimes difficult to accept and move forward with our aging bodies due to a number of factors. Female representations are arguably narrow; we’re taught we must always be hot. Who gets airplay? Hot twentysomethings, MILFs, cougars. If you get pregnant, you’re only permitted a small baby bump (and you best not carry weight anywhere else) and once you deliver, you need to lose the extra weight right away. 

The first step is really to set boundaries, and to regard your body as a vessel (what it has and can do) rather than an art piece (what it looks like.) Cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly bits, saggy boobs - these are part and parcel of the aging experience. Sometimes we get lucky, but by no means should Christie Brinkley set the standard for everyone else. 

Gently (and with a lot of compassion) shift your focus away from how much you hate your body to what it can do. If you’re not sure what it can do, I recommend starting there. How many push-ups can you do? Which forms of movement do you enjoy? Maybe you love taking walks around the neighbourhood after dinner with a cup of tea in hand. Maybe you love the way it feels to belly dance. Maybe you like swinging in the park. 

Secondly, immerse yourself in positive images. Unfollow social media accounts that don’t resonate with you or lead you to think negatively about yourself. 

2 | You’re playing a dead-end game of comparisonitis. 

We’ve inundated with transformation stories at every corner. From magazines to social media platforms, we’re reminded that if we don’t have something, it’s only because we don’t want it enough or haven’t worked hard enough to achieve it. But in my experience — and while many will certainly disagree — I think discipline is overrated. 

Whenever you pursue a goal, you need some degree of discipline. You need to commit and stay the course.

But ultimately the goal itself can (and should?) sufficiently drive you without much coaxing on your part. Whenever I’ve felt too much pushback from something, it’s usually a sign it’s not for me. I like to compare challenges to leather shoes. You want the shoe to fit somewhat snug initially because leather stretches out and you don’t want to be left with an oversized shoe. But you don’t want the shoe to fit too tight, either.

Weight loss is difficult for most people because it asks us to override our hunger signals to meet an arbitrary number on the scale, a measurement, or a percentage. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes no sense. It counters our very programming. 

But weightlifting to get stronger? This one’s easier. We can wrap our heads around it. 

Running to strengthen our hearts and lungs? Yes. 

Eating to fuel performance? Yes. 

So when it comes down to stories about so-and-so and her amazing weight loss, think critically about it. Maybe that person lost weight, but will she keep it off? Chances are good that she won’t (they say 90-95% of diets fail.) But getting stronger and eating a balanced diet make a lot of sense regardless of age or experience and they work with our biology — not against it. 

3 | Your friends are still dieting in various degrees.

It can be enormously difficult to live as an intuitive eater. It seems like everyone is on a diet, looking to spot reduce, or working to change their size or shape in some way. 

How can you possibly feel good about your body if everyone around you feels the need to change theirs?

Regardless of whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, I recommend having strong boundaries. Let them know what you’re trying to do (i.e. make peace with your body, accept your body, stop being at war with food…or your own words!). I find people are generally pretty receptive if you just let them in on your plans. 

Another option is to find some body positive groups to join or additional friends who are not as wrapped up in diet culture. 

4 | You’re consuming toxic media. 

Comparisonitis and toxic media consumption are totally linked, but the difference is this: comparing yourself to others is active and conscious (“I need to change”), while media consumption is (in my experience) tends to get internalized and grows from the inside out. Suddenly you want things you never thought you’d crave, like chiseled abs, a thigh gap, and a booty. You’re consumed with the idea that you’re not enough, not worthy, and not deserving, even if none of these things are true. 

One of the first things I get my clients to do is to ditch the negative media and surround themselves with more positive influences. Narrow beauty ideals may be the only ones we’re exposed to, but they’re not the only ones that exist. The body positive world is filled with gorgeous, diverse representations of femininity and appeal to a broad range of people. 

5 | You’re carrying unrealistic expectations for what your body should look like. 

I get it. We’re taught from a very young age to criticize our bodies and to treat them like projects. We’re taught we’re not good enough if we don’t meet the (arbitrary) ideal, and that regardless of our desires, we should always be working toward meeting it — that it’s “unwomanly" not to. 

But we’re not all meant to be Kate Mosses or Beyonces or Ashley Grahams, to be gaunt or voluptuous or “curvy in all the right places” or to have “legs for days.” That’s okay. Your body isn’t wrong. Over the course of our lives, our bodies are going to change. They’ll be bigger or smaller, firmer or softer, stronger or weaker. It is okay — and perfectly normal — to have cellulite, wobbly bits, and stretch marks. Pigmentation and moles. We’re not meant to be perfect. We’re only meant to be human.