Posts in Body Image
10 Reasons You Still Hate Your Body (And What To Do About It)

I’m not anti-weight loss, but like most intuitive eating coaches, I’m anti-pursuit of weight loss. 

But what happens when you know this on an intellectual level and you’ve succeeded in ditching the diet, but you still haven’t made peace with your body? 

In my experience as an intuitive eating coach, the body image piece is the last to click. It isn’t a linear or quick process; it often takes a lot of self-compassion, patience, and perseverance. But the time is going to pass regardless of whether you like your body or not. I figure you can spend the rest of your life trying to change it while loathing it, or you can do the necessary work to make peace with it and move on to other things that will ultimately prove more fulfilling. 

Here’s 5 reasons you still haven’t made peace with your body and how to troubleshoot each piece of the puzzle. 

Intuitive eating, emotional eating, body positive, health at every size, all foods fit, non-diet, anti-diet. 5 reasons you still hate your body and what to do about it.


1 | You’re comparing your body to a younger (and possibly still developing) version of itself. 

While it makes sense that 37-year-old bodies won’t necessarily look like their 17-year-old versions, it’s sometimes difficult to accept and move forward with our aging bodies due to a number of factors. Female representations are arguably narrow; we’re taught we must always be hot. Who gets airplay? Hot twentysomethings, MILFs, cougars. If you get pregnant, you’re only permitted a small baby bump (and you best not carry weight anywhere else) and once you deliver, you need to lose the extra weight right away. 

The first step is really to set boundaries, and to regard your body as a vessel (what it has and can do) rather than an art piece (what it looks like.) Cellulite, stretch marks, wobbly bits, saggy boobs - these are part and parcel of the aging experience. Sometimes we get lucky, but by no means should Christie Brinkley set the standard for everyone else. 

Gently (and with a lot of compassion) shift your focus away from how much you hate your body to what it can do. If you’re not sure what it can do, I recommend starting there. How many push-ups can you do? Which forms of movement do you enjoy? Maybe you love taking walks around the neighbourhood after dinner with a cup of tea in hand. Maybe you love the way it feels to belly dance. Maybe you like swinging in the park. 

Secondly, immerse yourself in positive images. Unfollow social media accounts that don’t resonate with you or lead you to think negatively about yourself. 

2 | You’re playing a dead-end game of comparisonitis. 

We’ve inundated with transformation stories at every corner. From magazines to social media platforms, we’re reminded that if we don’t have something, it’s only because we don’t want it enough or haven’t worked hard enough to achieve it. But in my experience — and while many will certainly disagree — I think discipline is overrated. 

Whenever you pursue a goal, you need some degree of discipline. You need to commit and stay the course.

But ultimately the goal itself can (and should?) sufficiently drive you without much coaxing on your part. Whenever I’ve felt too much pushback from something, it’s usually a sign it’s not for me. I like to compare challenges to leather shoes. You want the shoe to fit somewhat snug initially because leather stretches out and you don’t want to be left with an oversized shoe. But you don’t want the shoe to fit too tight, either.

Weight loss is difficult for most people because it asks us to override our hunger signals to meet an arbitrary number on the scale, a measurement, or a percentage. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes no sense. It counters our very programming. 

But weightlifting to get stronger? This one’s easier. We can wrap our heads around it. 

Running to strengthen our hearts and lungs? Yes. 

Eating to fuel performance? Yes. 

So when it comes down to stories about so-and-so and her amazing weight loss, think critically about it. Maybe that person lost weight, but will she keep it off? Chances are good that she won’t (they say 90-95% of diets fail.) But getting stronger and eating a balanced diet make a lot of sense regardless of age or experience and they work with our biology — not against it. 

3 | Your friends are still dieting in various degrees.

It can be enormously difficult to live as an intuitive eater. It seems like everyone is on a diet, looking to spot reduce, or working to change their size or shape in some way. 

How can you possibly feel good about your body if everyone around you feels the need to change theirs?

Regardless of whether it’s a friend, family member, or colleague, I recommend having strong boundaries. Let them know what you’re trying to do (i.e. make peace with your body, accept your body, stop being at war with food…or your own words!). I find people are generally pretty receptive if you just let them in on your plans. 

Another option is to find some body positive groups to join or additional friends who are not as wrapped up in diet culture. 

4 | You’re consuming toxic media. 

Comparisonitis and toxic media consumption are totally linked, but the difference is this: comparing yourself to others is active and conscious (“I need to change”), while media consumption is (in my experience) tends to get internalized and grows from the inside out. Suddenly you want things you never thought you’d crave, like chiseled abs, a thigh gap, and a booty. You’re consumed with the idea that you’re not enough, not worthy, and not deserving, even if none of these things are true. 

One of the first things I get my clients to do is to ditch the negative media and surround themselves with more positive influences. Narrow beauty ideals may be the only ones we’re exposed to, but they’re not the only ones that exist. The body positive world is filled with gorgeous, diverse representations of femininity and appeal to a broad range of people. 

5 | You’re carrying unrealistic expectations for what your body should look like. 

I get it. We’re taught from a very young age to criticize our bodies and to treat them like projects. We’re taught we’re not good enough if we don’t meet the (arbitrary) ideal, and that regardless of our desires, we should always be working toward meeting it — that it’s “unwomanly" not to. 

But we’re not all meant to be Kate Mosses or Beyonces or Ashley Grahams, to be gaunt or voluptuous or “curvy in all the right places” or to have “legs for days.” That’s okay. Your body isn’t wrong. Over the course of our lives, our bodies are going to change. They’ll be bigger or smaller, firmer or softer, stronger or weaker. It is okay — and perfectly normal — to have cellulite, wobbly bits, and stretch marks. Pigmentation and moles. We’re not meant to be perfect. We’re only meant to be human.

10 Signs You're Still Dieting (And How to Stop)

Diets don’t work — and actually result in added weight gain the majority of the time. And they're not always easy to spot. Cabbage soup and grapefruit diets of the past were surpassed by more complex systems like Weight Watchers and The Zone, portioned out plans like Jenny Craig, low-fat diets touted by the likes of Dean Ornish, and a slew of low-carbohydrate diets (Atkins, South Beach), which were replaced by "eating styles" (Paleo, Keto, Bulletproof, clean eating, therapeutic diets, and veganism, depending on the approach). Each varies in nutrient-density and research, though the copy all reads the same. 

But while diets are easy to quit, ditching the diet mentality is a whole other story. Many of us are unaware of how easily we internalize these thoughts, alongside the slew of toxic messages about how unworthy we are of an incredible life. I mean, you can’t turn a corner without being told you’re not thin enough, tall enough, pretty enough, glowing enough, shredded enough, successful enough…just not enough. So even if you've managed to ditch the diet, the hangover it leaves can feel nothing short of killer. 

That’s the thing about diets — they’re not just about what we’re eating. Within the context of food and eating, they’re equally about what we’re thinking, how we’re behaving, what we believe, and, as Kris Carr said, a manifestation of what’s eating us (I’m throwing this last statement out of context, but it’s still true.)

Intuitive eating, emotional eating, binge eating, recovery warrior, body positive, health at every size, anti-diet. 10 Signs you're still dieting and how to stop.

1. You worry about “healthy” vs. “unhealthy” foods (or “good” vs. “bad” foods.) 

It’s endlessly fascinating to me how “balanced diet” now means 100% healthy foods, which change on a dime depending on the year, and sometimes come with a set number of “cheat days” or “cheat meals.” Did you have to steal money for your pizza? Did you hurt someone for your nachos? Ending the diet cycle means you’ve stopped worrying so much about cheating on your diet and have started seriously wondering if you’re cheating on yourself. 

One of the core beliefs of intuitive eating is that all foods fit. While there are exceptions (always), the conviction that health and potato chip consumption or a daily cookie or a handful of M&Ms cannot co-exist is actually dissonant, since our bodies can handle a variety of foods. Evolution has moulded them into masters at letting us know when we’ve had enough of something. What happens if you’ve eaten too much fruit or too many cookies? Your stomach probably hurts, right? You might get a headache or feel generally unwell. How do you feel if you’ve had too many fried foods? If you're eaten too many fibrous foods? 

If you’ve eaten too many heavy meals, you may naturally start craving lighter fare. If you’ve been without vegetables, you may desperately crave a salad. All of this is to say that while gentle, foundational nutrition knowledge is helpful, especially in connecting us to what we actually need, our bodies are pretty good are telling us what they need if we were only to stop listening to external voices and to start honouring the one that matters most.

I’m not saying this is easy. It’s challenging to shift from a diet mindset to one that embraces all foods. But try to venture into the grocery store with a fresh set of eyes. Look around. What do you gravitate towards? What looks good to you? If everything carried the same emotional attachment, what would you like to eat? The only “unhealthy” thing about enjoying pizza on a Friday night is feeling guilty about it the next day. 

2. You count calories, macros, or some other number for the purpose of weight loss or weight maintenance, and you fear your eating would be out of control without MyFitnessPal.

Many people fear that without the constraints of diet culture they would relentlessly overeat. But I want to clarify that intuitive eating is not the Netflix of diets — we’re not eating on demand. We’re eating when we’re hungry, stopping when we’re full (usually — you’ve gotta live a little), and eating foods that always taste and usually feel good. Seems so sound and yet so radical, doesn’t it?

Dieting actually silences your natural hunger/fullness cues and satiety because you become accustomed to external eating guidelines as opposed to internally-motivated ones. Diets also prevent us from reaching our natural weight — a weight best suited to us — because we use them to reach and maintain a size that may not be healthy for us at all. If you’re dieting and always hungry, it's very likely you're not eating enough. 

For example, you may eat only 1200 calories per day because you were told to and find yourself constantly starving —  even if you actually need more like 2, 200. And since we're on the topic of calorie counters, I’m not a fan of any diet, but I have a real bone to pick with calorie counting apps. Do you actually know how many calories you need not just to survive, but to thrive? Sometimes I’m super hungry and sometimes I’m not. How does a fitness app know how many calories you need on any given day?

The same goes for macronutrients. There are days you may need more protein than usual (say, if you’ve just completed a really tough, arduous workout.) Maybe you need more carbs on those days, too. But sometimes you might really want #alltheavocado or feel an irrational desire for a big bowl of noodles for no reason at all. Should you dismiss these very natural inclinations in favour of some arbitrary rules around eating? I say no. If holistic nutrition promotes listening to our bodies, perhaps the best thing you can do is actually answer when it speaks. You don’t need to justify your mashed potatoes, bowl of oatmeal, cherry cheesecake, chicken salad, green smoothie, or glass of wine to anyone. 

Genetically speaking, some of us are meant to be smaller humans. At just under five-foot-two, I can assure you I was never meant to be tall, regardless of what I ate, drank, or did for my health, even if there's a six-foot-tall person inside of me sometimes ;). The same can be said for our weight, even if some feel conflicted regarding the science behind this. 

3. You avoid foods high in fat, carbs, and/or protein for non-medical reasons.

It seems like a new food is culled from the approved list with every day that passes.

In the 90s, fats were out. Forget the yolks, bacon, avocado, olives, coconut, nuts, seeds, cream, whole milk, and everything that's good in this world. Then it was carbs, general, followed by gluten, followed by all grains. Bread is bad. Sugar is bad. Corn is bad. Soy is bad. Don't drink fruit juice, but cold-pressed fruit juice is okay. Hold up: just green juice sweetened with lemon or lime. Chocolate is okay, but make it 80%. Actually, 90%. Make sure it's raw and sweetened with stevia. Eventually we'll be left with air or Jetson food and a hella lot of anxiety, neither happier or healthier than our grandparents. 

So what do you aim for? Variety, dear reader. Above all, food should be pleasurable. Food is joy. Some foods will rank higher in carbohydrate, like the potatoes you roast, tossed with capers, parsley and lemon; the frozen, overripe bananas you throw into your morning smoothie or fold into banana bread; and corn tortillas, heated over the stove and served with strong coffee that eats whatever cream you give it, slow-poached eggs, the spiciest salsa, and the sun as it rises over the park. 

Some will fall higher in fat, like the avocado you mash into the guacamole you serve your friends one hot June evening between glasses of wine and roast pork and salads dressed in lemon vinaigrette; the nut butter you eat from the spoon between projects; the red lentil curry with coconut milk; and glorious, delicious, house-smells-like-Sunday-morning bacon that crisps and spits and squirms in the cast iron pan.

And some will be higher in protein, like the tempeh stirred into spiralized zucchini noodles and the roast beef I slow cooked on Saturday with tomato paste and leftover stock made in-house at my local butcher. It’s all part of a balanced diet, and somehow, if you aim for this, I think you're going to be okay. More than okay. 

4. You tell everyone you’ve gone vegan for ethical reasons…and you’re lying about it. 

Veganism can certainly work for some people, but the approach determines its diet status. While many people do choose veganism for ethical reasons, just as many default to it for weight loss.  Animal foods become another food group you don’t have to think about or control. Suddenly, you have an excuse for declining so-and-so’s birthday cake and eating at home before joining your friends for dinner.

Whether veganism is right for you depends largely on your motivation and the stage you’re at in your intuitive eating journey (and a few other factors I’ll leave for another day.) But if you’re doing it with the hopes of weight loss or have yet to ditch the remaining threads of the diet mentality, I would hold off until you’ve healed your relationship with food before eliminating anything to avoid viewing and using veganism as another diet.

The point here: be honest with yourself. 

5. You’re eating or avoiding certain foods because you’ve been told to — and less because you want to or have legit reasons for doing so. 

Many people have very serious allergies, but many of us do not and are avoiding foods for reasons that may or may not make sense for us. Gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, corn-free, sugar-free, Earth-free…the dizzying array makes it hard to keep up. To complicate matters, most food sensitivity tests are not scientifically validated. While I’m not saying sensitivities and intolerances don’t exist, I've also seen people pick and pry at various foods, looking to solve problems that don't exist. I also suspect that a fear of food can create a placebo effect, convincing someone they're allergic or sensitive to foods to which they are flat-out not. 

I recommend paying attention to the way foods make you feel and making conscious decisions based on those experiences. For example, I can’t eat tons and tons of cow’s dairy — but I can comfortably enjoy a bowl of whole milk cow’s yogurt, cream in my coffee, or a serving of cheese. I also really like goat and sheep’s milk products, which I find easier to digest. Last week I discovered an amazing goat’s feta at my cheesemonger and an aged goat’s cheddar that’s out of this world. This isn’t a perfect science, but approaching food like an explorer or adventurer as opposed to a judge can really help you to select choices that feel good and help you to make peace with food. 

6. You stop eating carbs after 2pm and all foods after 6pm.

Time recommendations have “diet mentality” written all over them. Guidelines as to when to start and stop eating are usually arbitrary and not science-based. At the same time, I encourage listening to your body. If you’re not hungry when you first wake up, maybe you need to post-pone breakfast until you do, rather than eating immediately to "jumpstart your metabolism". But if you’re hungry and it’s 9pm, you might need to eat — particularly if you enjoyed a lighter dinner or if you feel your hunger will prevent you from sleeping. If I eat an early dinner I’ll often have a piece of fruit, some cheese, or yogurt before bed.

The point is: if you’re hungry, eat. There is no magic weight loss bullet. Eating breakfast is not going to save your life and eating after 6pm is not going to kill you. 

7. You avoid social situations for fear you’ll eat or drink something forbidden. 

You might still be dieting if you refuse to go out to a restaurant because there aren’t any “clean” food options. In the past I’ve been asked about what to order at restaurants or where to eat. While I love all of the options popping up in my neighbourhood — variety is the spice of life, amiright? — I also recommend eating what you actually want vs. what you think you should be eating. If you’re craving a cheeseburger, my fish recommendation won’t serve you. And if what you want is a Greek salad with chicken, perhaps my vegan restaurant suggestion won’t work. 

You might also want to consider how you’re feeling. There are times when only red meat will do, especially when my energy tanks, and times I avoid alcohol because of my workload. Today (a Monday) I really wanted Greek salad, mango, and potatoes, and tomorrow I may want an entirely different set of foods (like Cobb salad, a smoothie, and lentils). This is all part of intuitive eating. 

These days, I make the following suggestions: 1) eat what you want 2) chew your food 3) try to eat slowly so you can adequately feel your fullness 4) stop when you’re full (most of the time) 5) love your food. 

8. You stop eating when you feel you’ve had enough regardless of hunger or fullness. 

Many people are concerned about eating too much (the opposite is less common.) Myriad messages about portion size and over-eating have sent us into a tailspin, where we question if we’re overdoing it, too. Let me break this down.

For those who are working out like crazy and never satisfied, consider the possibility that you’re overexercising. But keep in mind that your appetite may increase slightly when you’re exercising as opposed to when you’re sedentary because you need more energy (calories). 

And again, if you’re hungry, eat. Even if you think you’ve had enough. Your “enough” may not actually be that much food. If you’re eating a ton of vegetables, it’s possible you’re eating a lot volume-wise, but not quite enough calorie-wise. The goal is not about counting, though — the goal is about eating food you like until you are satisfied and comfortably full (for me this is around 75-80%.) Try this experiment for yourself. 

9. You feel you need to detox or cleanse. 

In the event someone thinks I’ve forgotten my roots, I do remember where I come from (ahem, holistic nutrition.) Many people believe in nutrition-based cleanses and detoxes, but I have to respectfully disagree. Yes, certain nutrients are required for Phase I and II liver detoxification, but you can get them by eating a variety of foods. If you feel you need to cleanse/detox, ask yourself why. Whether you’ve overeaten while travelling or consumed more alcohol than usual over the summer, the answer, from my standpoint, is always the same: return to your body. Listen to your body. Show your body respect, love, and loyalty. If you’re craving lighter fare, honour that. If you feel like you’ve had too much to drink, perhaps the answer is moderating your consumption rather than latching on to a new fad diet. 

10. You experience guilt when eating delicious foods. 

Last, but never least, you're still carrying the diet mentality if you experience guilt or remorse when eating delicious food. Food is an impossibly amazing, breathtaking, joyous part of life. Sunday morning breakfasts with your family, marked by coffee and conversations that linger too long. Wine and cheese nights with your best girls. Tacos and tequila on a summer day. Picnic salads and kombucha. Homemade lemonade mid-August in your backyard. Vine-ripened tomatoes, just-picked apples, watermelon juice that runs down your face, fuzzy peaches that soften with your touch, cheese that tastes tangy and salty and like experience all at once, ice cream that melts too fast, lime popsicles and gossip, toast with honey and sea salt, and egg yolks, so private until they open. 

Darling, enjoy it all. 











7 Ways Your Weight Loss Goals Are Stopping You From Feeling Confident in Your Skin

Weight loss plans, if you ask me, are a lot like bad relationships.

You’re giving more than you’re receiving, making impossible compromises, and seeing little ROI (hey, you can take the girl out of the bank, but…). Whether it’s via a strict mono food diet — cabbage soup, anyone? — or a non-diet diet promising a dazzling array of nutrient-dense foods, weight loss goals are built on the same foundation as shitty partnerships: I’ll restrict x and y so I can have z, even though z is never going to give me what I actually need

Only love leads to love, friends. Weight loss goals present transformation by occupying the space self-love should fill. 

I have a boatload of compassion and empathy for anyone who’s going through this very scenario, because it’s not your fault. We’re sold a ton of myths about weight and health, like…being thin is the most important thing to be. That being “overweight”, whatever the heck that means, means we’re unhealthy, impossible to love, and will inevitably die alone. Like we’re not allowed to love ourselves if we have fat on our bodies. So how can we possibly reconcile these learnings with a #riotsoverdiets approach? 

I’ve got to tell you, I’m not keen on the fantasy living January inspires. We start the year off determined this will be the year we rock those six pack abs, eat super clean, and finally lose the weight. I’ll wear that body con dress when I lose ten pounds. I’ll drop the final fifteen so I can really rock that bikini on our trip. Being uncomfortable in our own skin is often used as a reason to live in tomorrowland in hopes of sunnier weather. Not only are your “perfect weight” and happiness mutually exclusive, but goals like these function more like crutches — preventing you from working through bigger issues — than game-changers. 

Body positivity | intuitive eating | emotional eating | health at every size. How your weight loss goals are stopping you from feeling like the sexy vixen you are. Learn what you can do to cope with bloating, health washing, binge eating, and more.


Today I’m taking you through a tour of the 7 ways weight loss is motivated by nasty internal thoughts rather than life-affirming reasons. 

7 Ways Weight Loss is Motivated by Nasty Internal Thoughts

While I’m not saying there aren’t good reasons for weight loss — ie. your knees ache from the extra weight — motive and intent must always be considered. So often I think we mistake symptoms of physical discomfort, physiological differences, social pressure, or waking up feeling gross as a “need” to lose weight. Let’s begin by unpacking some of these thoughts.

  1. You feel bloated. Picture this: you wake up one morning feeling bloated and nothing feels comfortable. Immediately, you tell yourself you 1) need to start working out or working out more and/or 2) you need to hop on a diet, eat fewer carbs, or quit eating dinners out. I get it. Nobody likes being bloated. It’s uncomfortable and makes us feel super unsexy. But instead of hating on your hot self, coach yourself out of this mindset by using some of the following facts:

  2. Bloating happens for a ton of different reasons and it’s totally normal.

  3. I can help myself by drinking herbal tea, water, and nourishing my body with easy-to-digest foods.

  4. I can wear something looser and leave my more tailored or form-fitting clothes for tomorrow.

2. Comparisonitis. Who hasn’t engaged in the body check game at some point? When was the last time you entered a room and resisted comparing the size of someone’s thighs to yours? This mind game rarely makes us feel good about ourselves. Is some of this kind of inevitable? Sure.

But there’s a world of difference between acknowledging it and sending it off to die a slow and painful death, and thinking you need to change yourself simply because your body is different. Try flipping these mental conversations on their heads by taking an inclusive approach. I try to acknowledge everyone’s unique attributes and how those features make them beautiful. It also helps to pay attention to behaviour as opposed to appearance. When someone’s happy, excited, and smiling boldly, it’s impossible not to get swept up in that amazing energy, too. Remove the focus from your appearance and channel the energy into helping those around you feel good about themselves (it will help you to feel good about yourself, too.)

3. Feeling inferior. Growing up, I was always placed in slow learner-type groups. I carried these insecurities for years (to be honest, I still carry them.) I learned to write in French first and had a terrible time learning to write in English. I succeeded only because my mother worked with me after school and would take me to the public library to read.

But these feelings ultimately lead me to collect several pieces of paper to “prove” I wasn’t dumb and to pick at other parts of my identity — like my weight. The reality? Each of us has different skills and talents based on our genetics and experiences. When you begin to feel a little more on the inferior side, try to pinpoint where these feelings are coming from and explore how you might explore and dismantle them one by one. Chances are, they’re rooted more in fear and frustration than reality. 

4. Mediawashing and Health Washing. Overexposure to unrealistic expectations via magazine covers, newspaper articles, Instagram feeds, Facebook images, gym ads, Transformation Stories, and the general expectation that women should not only be thin, but rock six-pack abs, a sky-high booty, and toned arms — but you know, not too muscular — can make us feel like weight loss is the only appropriate response to the pressure. I mean, all around us we’re reminded thin is the only acceptable way to exist in the world. If we’re not also hard-bodied, we’re 1) not doing it right 2) not trying hard enough 3) lazy. But whether you're healthy, loved, accepted, successful, and treasured doesn’t hinge on you checking any of these boxes. Trust me. 

5. Negative Self-Talk. Often weight loss motivation stems from our own negative self-talk. There’s only so much internal nastiness you can handle before it begins to erode your self-confidence. On January 1st, I pledged not to speak a single negative thing about my appearance — and I’ve kept it up so far. But I’ve also done my best not to think a single negative thing. If you don’t feel quite ready to do this yet, I encourage you to be conscious of when you’re doing it. When the only words you can say yourself are kind ones, it’s basically life-changing. 

6. Holiday indulgences. Because we’re exposed to a variety of delicious food over the holidays and may not eat the way we normally do, it’s pretty common to feel anxious about our post-holiday bodies (hence the January diets.) Instead of sedating the fear with self-loathing, weight loss chats, and other related topics, remind yourself that a) any weight gain is temporary b) feeling guilty and remorseful for enjoying your holidays takes away from the magic of it c) so many people are in the same boat as you — you’re not alone. 

7. Bingeing. When we restrict and deprive ourselves of our favourite foods, bingeing is a normal biological response. I like to compare it to The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. If you’re a woman surrounded by over a dozen other women vying for the same man, suddenly that man is going to look way more attractive. But if you’re a woman surrounded by over a dozen men, you might feel a bit more empowered because men aren’t scarce.

The same applies to food. Yet, when we binge, we believe bingeing is the problem. But that’s like saying you want The Bachelor because men are the problem. They’re not. The problem is that you want something you’ve decided you can’t have — and now it’s all you can think about. Bingeing doesn’t mean you’re not “trying hard enough” or that you should diet to correct the behaviour. It’s a sign something’s not working, and it begins with your relationship with food — and not food (or weight) itself. 

If you want to lose weight, why do you want to? Will it fill a missing void in your life? What will it give you? What would it mean? What would it mean for you if it doesn’t happen? Let me know in the comments.